In case you haven't noticed, I've hit a wall with my blog posts. I've placed my hands on this keyboard more times than I can count, trying to find a way back into blogging about TheBigCandMe.
After my dreaded rash finally receded (turns out I developed an allergy to laundry detergent and soap), my scars healed, and my doctor was no longer on speed dial, my writing mojo took a sharp turn down the road of recovery — and has all but evaporated.
I've got the writer's blog blues. But I'm in good company. Many of my bloggy friends (The Accidental Amazon, Bringing Up Goliath, Breast Cancer Sisterhood, to name but a few) decided to suspend their blog writing so they can focus their energies on living life post-cancer.
Other blogs come to a screeching halt because the writer died from cancer...
...(Debbi and Cindy and Donna and Barbara and Rachel come to mind.)
I've tried to spotlight bloggers who are in the depths of their cancer struggles in an effort to cheer them on and send visitors their way (see 9 lovely MBC Mavens, or my posts about Karen and OBB and Shannon — again, to name a few).
It's a funny thing, but the more I distance myself from the word "cancer," the less it occupies my mind and the less fear it conjures up. (Can you relate?) I've given myself time to forge a new me, one where I embrace the emotional and physical and psychological ramifications of breast cancer, including the aftermath of surgeries, the side effects of Tamoxifen, the jarring disjointedness I feel whenever I look in the mirror.
I try to forget I've had cancer. It's kinda what you have to do to move forward. I realize I'm fortunate to even have the option. Far, far too many do not. Too many people are deeply encumbered in metastatic cancer, stuck in that hideous place, when all they really want to do is fly away...
I could box this blog up, slip it into a folder, pretend the ugliness of the past 2.5 years never happened, and try to get on with the business of Life 2.0.
It would be easy to consider my inability to move past my blogger's block as a sign that I should stop blogging. (My friend Nancy over at Nancy's Point had a great post recently on this very topic; check out "When Bloggers Stop Blogging.")
But I decided I'm not going anywhere. I still want to advocate. I still want to continue to educate myself and share what I learn and help those who are new to this disease. And I'll keep showing support for those dealing with mets or recurrence. Because advocacy can't fall to the folks already stricken with mets; they haven't the energy. They need a cure. It falls to those of us who are NED to find it for them. We have to keep taking action, making noise, creating change. We gotta be grumblers!
Speaking of grumblers, I'd like to give a shout out to Scorchy Barrington over at The Sarcastic Boob . Despite dealing with Stage 4 cancer, Scorchy spearheaded a movement on Change.org to petition Facebook to allow photos of mastectomy scars. Today, Facebook agreed. That is HUGE! That is the power of the people, my people. So keep grumbling!
Going forward, I've also decided to share more about my life. I'm dubbing this "Ordinary Daze." Stay tuned... In the meantime, please follow me on Twitter: @TheBigCandMe!