TOP 10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE

 © TheBigCandMe.Blogspot.com

I came across a blog post that feels worthy of a repost. 

Originally written as a letter to my 16-year-old self, these tips apply to folks of all ages — not just to teens. After all, we're never as young as we are right now, right?

I've renamed them RENN'S TOP 10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE. Sit down, grab a cup o' coffee, and...

10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE

Day 10 dawns on the WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge, and I have been asked to write a note to my 16-year-old self. This one took some brain cells, I'm not gonna lie. But Day 10 deserves 10 tips.

Dear 16-Year-Old Me,
This Road Called Life has so many jaw-dropping turns and dead-ends that it's really, really good you can't see any of them from where you are right now. Ignorance in this case is absolutely, positively blissful. While The Path cannot be changed, you can alter the amount of baggage you bring on this journey. To help, here are my 10 Tips for a Happy Life:

TIP #1 Appreciate your physicality. You won't always look this good, feel this good, be this flexible, be this thin, or have such perfect skin.

TIP #2 Stay true to you. The teenage you is the same you as the you you were in elementary school (stay with me here). The teenage you is also the same you that you become when you're older (and supposedly wiser). Never lose sight of her. The good news is, the young you is your beacon and your compass when the stormy seas arrive; she always knows what makes you happy. She also always knows the people and things you can trust. The bad news? She doesn't always know what's best for you. (That's why you need Tip #3.)

TIP #3 Develop a strong backbone. Define what is important to you and then follow your instincts. For example, if you're certain that marriage and family are what you want, don't waste your prime childbearing years in the wrong relationship. (I'm just sayin'.) If you don't want to give your life over to your work, don't give up all your hobbies and then blame your lack of them on the fact that you don't have the time or energy because you're always working.

TIP #4 Say NO more often. (This becomes easier after you have mastered Tip #3.) People-pleasing skills are highly over-rated.

TIP #5 Cultivate a rich network of supportive friends, particularly those with varied interests and ages. That way you're not left scrambling for new social groups when everyone does (or doesn't) get married, or has (or doesn't have) kids. Build yourself a nice support network on which to fall back on; you'll need them to catch you when you fall. And you will. Oh, and remember that in order to have a supportive friend, you have to be a supportive friend.

TIP #6 Exercise every day. But not obsessively. Find things you enjoy and do them daily. Working out will keep your weight (and your stress level) down, your hormones in check, your mood more balanced — and your jeans in single digits.

TIP #7 Be conscious about what you ingest. Again, no need to be obsessive; just be smart. Your food should be of good quality, not processed, nor laden with chemicals or pesticides. If you're going to drink alcohol, have a glass of water before every drink. And please don't drink on an empty stomach. Or smoke!

TIP #8 Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. Because guess what — they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves. So ditch the worry and just be yourself.

TIP #9 Kindness is king. Embrace what you love about you and don't get down on yourself for what you don't. Always, always, always be kind to others — but be especially kind to yourself. Always, always, always choose a mate that is kind to others — and who is especially kind to you.

TIP #10 Keep your naturally positive attitude and sense of humor. You're gonna need it.

TO BE ME

This week I went out with a few former co-workers, many of whom I hadn't seen in years. They all knew about my recent breast cancer diagnosis and treatment; this gathering was, in part, to celebrate "catching it early" — though no one seems to get that early diagnosis in no way means "cured." It can always come back. Cancer is funny that way. 

Anyway, it was fun to catch up and feel the love in their hugs — like an extra layer of emotion wrapping itself around me, a kindness deeper than I have ever felt from this group of women. No pity party, this; more a cross between empathy and the cold, harsh reality that no one wants to be me. 

My pre-cancerous life never followed a typical, predictable path. I married late (took me a while to find my Mr. Wonderful) and never had kids (the latter didn't help my BC risk). I had the time, energy and wherewithal to pursue my passions. It was a fun, full, crazy life. I took care of myself, and got routine mammograms. Then I got breast cancer. Now no one wants to be me.  

Cancer will do that to a girl.

So instead of a first-class ticket to Paris, I nabbed first-class status in the funkiest of fraternities. And once you get drafted into the Cancer Club ('cause no one volunteers for this army), there's no way out. I couldn't go AWOL even if I wanted to — and I want to every single day. The best I can hope for? An honorable discharge.