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One year ago, she was diagnosed with rectal cancer...
Healing and dealing with life after a breast cancer diagnosis.
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Saturday, May 24, 2014
GREEN MONKEY UPDATE
One year ago, she was diagnosed with rectal cancer...
Monday, March 24, 2014
TOP 10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE
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Originally written as a letter to my 16-year-old self, these tips apply to folks of all ages — not just to teens. After all, we're never as young as we are right now, right?
I've renamed them RENN'S TOP 10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE. Sit down, grab a cup o' coffee, and...
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
10 TIPS FOR A HAPPY LIFE
Day 10 dawns on the WEGO Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge, and I have been asked to write a note to my 16-year-old self. This one took some brain cells, I'm not gonna lie. But Day 10 deserves 10 tips.
Dear 16-Year-Old Me,
This Road Called Life has so many jaw-dropping turns and dead-ends that it's really, really good you can't see any of them from where you are right now. Ignorance in this case is absolutely, positively blissful. While The Path cannot be changed, you can alter the amount of baggage you bring on this journey. To help, here are my 10 Tips for a Happy Life:
TIP #1 Appreciate your physicality. You won't always look this good, feel this good, be this flexible, be this thin, or have such perfect skin.
TIP #2 Stay true to you. The teenage you is the same you as the you you were in elementary school (stay with me here). The teenage you is also the same you that you become when you're older (and supposedly wiser). Never lose sight of her. The good news is, the young you is your beacon and your compass when the stormy seas arrive; she always knows what makes you happy. She also always knows the people and things you can trust. The bad news? She doesn't always know what's best for you. (That's why you need Tip #3.)
TIP #3 Develop a strong backbone. Define what is important to you and then follow your instincts. For example, if you're certain that marriage and family are what you want, don't waste your prime childbearing years in the wrong relationship. (I'm just sayin'.) If you don't want to give your life over to your work, don't give up all your hobbies and then blame your lack of them on the fact that you don't have the time or energy because you're always working.
TIP #4 Say NO more often. (This becomes easier after you have mastered Tip #3.) People-pleasing skills are highly over-rated.
TIP #5 Cultivate a rich network of supportive friends, particularly those with varied interests and ages. That way you're not left scrambling for new social groups when everyone does (or doesn't) get married, or has (or doesn't have) kids. Build yourself a nice support network on which to fall back on; you'll need them to catch you when you fall. And you will. Oh, and remember that in order to have a supportive friend, you have to be a supportive friend.
TIP #6 Exercise every day. But not obsessively. Find things you enjoy and do them daily. Working out will keep your weight (and your stress level) down, your hormones in check, your mood more balanced — and your jeans in single digits.
TIP #7 Be conscious about what you ingest. Again, no need to be obsessive; just be smart. Your food should be of good quality, not processed, nor laden with chemicals or pesticides. If you're going to drink alcohol, have a glass of water before every drink. And please don't drink on an empty stomach. Or smoke!
TIP #8 Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. Because guess what — they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves. So ditch the worry and just be yourself.
TIP #9 Kindness is king. Embrace what you love about you and don't get down on yourself for what you don't. Always, always, always be kind to others — but be especially kind to yourself. Always, always, always choose a mate that is kind to others — and who is especially kind to you.
TIP #10 Keep your naturally positive attitude and sense of humor. You're gonna need it.
Dear 16-Year-Old Me,
This Road Called Life has so many jaw-dropping turns and dead-ends that it's really, really good you can't see any of them from where you are right now. Ignorance in this case is absolutely, positively blissful. While The Path cannot be changed, you can alter the amount of baggage you bring on this journey. To help, here are my 10 Tips for a Happy Life:
TIP #2 Stay true to you. The teenage you is the same you as the you you were in elementary school (stay with me here). The teenage you is also the same you that you become when you're older (and supposedly wiser). Never lose sight of her. The good news is, the young you is your beacon and your compass when the stormy seas arrive; she always knows what makes you happy. She also always knows the people and things you can trust. The bad news? She doesn't always know what's best for you. (That's why you need Tip #3.)
TIP #3 Develop a strong backbone. Define what is important to you and then follow your instincts. For example, if you're certain that marriage and family are what you want, don't waste your prime childbearing years in the wrong relationship. (I'm just sayin'.) If you don't want to give your life over to your work, don't give up all your hobbies and then blame your lack of them on the fact that you don't have the time or energy because you're always working.
TIP #4 Say NO more often. (This becomes easier after you have mastered Tip #3.) People-pleasing skills are highly over-rated.
TIP #6 Exercise every day. But not obsessively. Find things you enjoy and do them daily. Working out will keep your weight (and your stress level) down, your hormones in check, your mood more balanced — and your jeans in single digits.
TIP #7 Be conscious about what you ingest. Again, no need to be obsessive; just be smart. Your food should be of good quality, not processed, nor laden with chemicals or pesticides. If you're going to drink alcohol, have a glass of water before every drink. And please don't drink on an empty stomach. Or smoke!
TIP #8 Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. Because guess what — they're not thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves. So ditch the worry and just be yourself.
TIP #9 Kindness is king. Embrace what you love about you and don't get down on yourself for what you don't. Always, always, always be kind to others — but be especially kind to yourself. Always, always, always choose a mate that is kind to others — and who is especially kind to you.
TIP #10 Keep your naturally positive attitude and sense of humor. You're gonna need it.
Monday, June 27, 2011
HUMPTY DUMPTY
Surgery day is getting closer, and I'm beginning to worry about everything. (If you knew me, you'd know I have been worried about everything for forever, so how could I possibly worry any more? Well, I do because I can. Or is it I can because I do?)
Maybe if I allow them to help me solve a small problem I see on the near horizon, they will "get it." So I tell them how friends and neighbors want to bring me meals, and that I would love that, but if I can't make a sandwich for myself, how will I be able to get out of bed and go downstairs and answer the door while also getting our two adorable but ferocious barking machines (otherwise known as dogs) to go outside so I can let "person with the food" inside without their being pounced on (or worse, if the barking machines don't like them, nipped at). OH, they say. That IS a problem!
My older sister has flown into town to help with whatever is needed while I'm having surgery and recovering. YAY! She is also here on business (she has a client nearby), but will provide the greatest benefit by assisting my mother (who no longer drives and is dependent on me). In theory this is a splendid idea — move the load of responsibility off my shoulders and onto my sister's.
However, sister doesn't know how much there is to be done. She tells me in an email that she will call me during the car ride to her work appointment to discuss any details. There is no way we can go over everything on the phone and without her writing it down.
So I write up some lengthy notes and take them over to my mom's. The three of us — me, mom, sis — sit at the kitchen table as I try to explain everything that I'm worried about: my mother's medical appointments, her upcoming taxes (which haven't yet been started), her bills (which I facilitate paying), her bank statements, her prescriptions (which I pick up) ... the list goes on. Both my mother and sister tell me the exact same thing: do not worry about anything. Huh? Aren't they listening? I'm the only one who knows how the bills are currently being paid. I'm the one who knows what's currently happening with my mother's health. (My mom, bless her heart, tries not to think about any of these details and therefore does not remember much about any of them).
But somehow, I'm now supposed to simply stop worrying and focus on my surgery. Everything will be taken care of. Just like magic.
Well, I'm not buying any of it.
Because here's what will happen: I will be out of commission for a few weeks while my mind is on my own healing. My sister and mother won't know (or recall) what is supposed to be taken care of if I don't tell them. Things will fall through the cracks. And when I finally re-surface, I won't remember anything either. Then my sister will fly home and I will be left with the fallout and the pieces.
What, me worry? That's crazy talk.
Maybe if I allow them to help me solve a small problem I see on the near horizon, they will "get it." So I tell them how friends and neighbors want to bring me meals, and that I would love that, but if I can't make a sandwich for myself, how will I be able to get out of bed and go downstairs and answer the door while also getting our two adorable but ferocious barking machines (otherwise known as dogs) to go outside so I can let "person with the food" inside without their being pounced on (or worse, if the barking machines don't like them, nipped at). OH, they say. That IS a problem!
These are but a few of the details I am stuck on in the days preceding my surgery. I am consumed with worry about everything because I somehow feel everything is my responsibility to worry about.
Then it hits me. Things are going to have to change or I will never get through this ordeal. I'm going to have to learn how to let go. I'm going to have to give up worrying. Cancer's going to have to "cure" my desire for control.
Right. Just like Humpty Dumpty learns to effortlessly dance along the edge of a brick wall.
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