In the spirit of a new year (and inspired by my blogging pal Marie's thought-provoking queries), I want to open 2012 with a question. Anyone reading this post has either been diagnosed with cancer or knows someone who has. It doesn't matter if you are in the former or the latter group; our collective world is shattered and splintered by The Big C.
But among the fallout and the rubble of cancer come The Rubies — the people who keep us grounded, or safe, or sane, or distracted, or engaged during all the rolling ruckus.
The Rubies are there at the right time, in the right place, and we have the foresight to recognize them as the rare gems they truly are.
As a person dodging the minefield of cancer, I am fortunate to have many Rubies. And without the internet I would never have "met" the majority of them. I count among my Rubies the courageous cancer bloggers who are telling their tale with honesty and humor and bravado. They paint a deeper, fuller, more complex and truthful picture of cancer in all its crazy colors — and we all can benefit from their wisdom. I feel stronger and less alone in my struggles because of them. And so I say thank you to the women and men of the blogosphere.
I also am lucky to have Rubies in the form of a group of women I met online at BCO. We are seven in total, and range in age from 27 to 53. We all were diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of 2010. Five out of seven of us had bilateral mastectomies; one had a single mastectomy; one had a lumpectomy. Three had chemotherapy; five are on Tamoxifen. No one lives near the other (though some ladies did manage to meet in 2011) and I have yet to meet these fair maidens myself, but we "talk" every day. They are my lifeline, my sanity, and my strength. And so to my six Rubies, I say thank you for always being there. I couldn't do this journey without you.
But getting back to you, dear reader: Who was/is your Ruby when you were dealing with The Big C in your life?
yes, someone very close - and my mum was my ruby!
ReplyDeleteall the very best to you in 2012
Mary x
Mary, how wonderful it was your mum! Happy and peaceful New year to you too!
ReplyDeleteMy Ruby was my son but it has taken a tremendous toll on him. Plus I had/have the blogging community there to help me up. I have finally come to terms my family is not there to support me. In fact I didn't hear from them Christmas or to wish a Happy New Year..
ReplyDeleteWhat can I say. They are the pebbles in my shoe........
Love Alli XO
Alli, I'm so sorry to hear your extended family is letting you down. This is perhaps why your Ruby is your son... he knows your family as well as you and stepped up to the plate. He is a true gem. Lean on the blogging community, we're here for you!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about the big C!
ReplyDeleteThank you for linking up to one word - I may have missed it but I did look :) what is your one word?
Renn,
ReplyDeleteI love that concept of our valued supporters as Rubies. And I am grateful that I met you on the blogosphere, reading your truths regularly.
My rubies were my humane doctors, who treated me as a human rather than just a patient, as well as my brother and aunt. My cat saw me through treatments and loved me nonetheless.
Marcia: Yes, my word is there! It's "peace" (though I am also liking "clarity") Thanks for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteBeth: I too am grateful we "met"! And you're right, lets not forget our pets — they are awesome and always there to love us!
This is a lovely post, Renn. Love the ideas of sparkling gems in a dark time. My husband was truly my ruby. I'm not sure I could have faced some days without him by my side or his hand in mine. Now, that time has passed and the urgency of cancer has waned for the moment, my rubies, are like yours. The amazing women I've met through our online community. It's support like no other, despite never being in the same room. Great post.
ReplyDeleteStacey: Yes, the BC community rocks! Glad your hubby was your ruby rock! ;-)
ReplyDeleteMy ruby is my boyfriend. We met nearly three years ago and over the past few months, he has shown what a solid and pure man he is. I was diagnosed 9/27/11 and I've just finished my second round of chemo.
ReplyDeleteRuby is also my birthstone, so I'd like to think that my own soul is also my rock. I have had to learn to lean on others during this process, but still remain determined and strong.
Hi Renn,
ReplyDeleteWow, there were so many. The two that were my Rubies were Mary & Susan, my two college buddies who just hung in there with me no matter what. So many people in my local neighborhood were also there for me with food, stopping by to check in on me, calling, sending cards, just being there for me. It was a pretty profound experience, one I wouldn't have chosen but which I learned a lot from. Thanks for your blog and thanks for adding mine as one of your favorites. That was very generous of you! XO Claudia
Kim: Ruby is my birthstone too! Boy, BC is tough enough on husbands, can't imagine going through this with a boyfriend... so happy yours is golden! BTW I like the concept that our souls are our rocks. I think that's very true. Good luck with chemo!!
ReplyDeleteClaudia: You have a jewelry box of gems over there! BC is a profound experience, for sure! Thanks for stopping by. I enjoy your blog too! Keep writing. ;-)
I love this post. I love my rubies. My most precious ruby is, of course, my hubby. Having someone stand by you during a cancer diagnosis, cancer treatment and beyond is something for which I'm very grateful. Besides the rest of my family and pets, my greatest rubies are my on-line friends such as yourself. And much like "real gems" they truly grow more precious to me each and every day.
ReplyDeleteNancy: I agree, I agree!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post. I don't know where I'd be without the support of my rubies - including you! - who have supported me during the past few difficult months. I love what Samuel Taylor Coleridge once wrote "friendship is a sheltering tree" and I am very grateful for its shelter.
ReplyDeleteMaria, a sheltering tree is a great description of friendship! I am grateful for yours as well. ;-)
ReplyDeleteRenn, my BCO peeps also kept and still keep me sane. And I've met so many more in the blogosphere -- some even in person! And they -- and you -- are all gems. We are rich indeed. xo
ReplyDeleteKathi: Right back at ya! What would we have done without the internet?
ReplyDeletexo
Renn - I am glad to be one of your rubies...you are one of mine too! Hugs my dear friend!!!
ReplyDeleteMaria
Maria: And you know you are one of mine! Thanks girlfriend! xoxo
ReplyDelete