This year, I've been asked to write a note to my older self — and to state the age I am writing to.
Piece o' cake, I thought. (That counts as Thought #1)
Thought #2: I'll write a note to my 100-year-old self!
Thought #3: That would mean I didn't die from breast cancer.
Thought #4: I hope that's true, but I don't want to give myself a kenehora.
Thought #5: I know too many people with metastatic cancer who won't live to see 100, let alone 65. Or 50. Or... And what about the ones who don't have mets yet but will? What about them?
Thought #6: I can't do it. I can't pretend to be alive when I don't know if I will be (though I don't know that I won't be).
Thought #7: I still can't do it. I can't in good conscience place myself in old age when so many won't be here with me if I live to be 100.
Thought #8: %$@# cancer.
Thought #9: So don't make yourself so damn old!
Thought #10: Dear 54-year-old me: Go to bed. You need sleep to slay the $#@% cancer dragons.
PS Here's a challenge of a different sort: If you haven't yet read Lisa Bonchek Adams' spot-on post entitled "Some Thoughts About How to Be a Friend to Someone With a Serious Illness," I recommend it highly.
I am struggling with this one, too, Renn. It was much easier to write to my 16 year old self. Your thought #7 says it all.
ReplyDeleteThought #8: %$@# cancer. This thought is exactly what I think too....
ReplyDeleteI am not sure I could write to my older self and I KNOW I would cry a lot if I wrote to my 16 year old self.. I guess I will just write for today;)
I'm so glad you are taking on this challenge again, Renn. I think it is harder to write to an older self than to a sixteen-year-old self. Thought #5 gets to me. A year ago I would be repressing those sentiments. Now they are foremost on my mind. Good thing I didn't know about the mets until I reached 60. Some don't even get into their fifties, as you say. xo
ReplyDeleteHi Renn,
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I'm so impressed you are taking part in this challenge once again. Maybe next year...
Your list gets me thinking...writing to oneself is not such an easy challenge after all is it?
And I did read Lisa's post. Incredible writing from her as always.
Good luck with the writing challenge!
I am enjoying your posts with the challenge Renn. I agree it's harder to write to your older self than to your 16 year old self. I do think though if I wrote to my younger self and told her what happened I never would have believed that things would go the way they did.
ReplyDelete